“Is it a new thought to you that your heart as a woman is the most important thing about you? What does that mean to you?” These are questions that struck me as I started to re-read John and Stasi Eldredge’s book, Captivating. (pg. 9). I am challenged—what does my heart “as a woman” look like, feel like, desire, respond to, hope for…?
Perhaps like me, you too are challenged and wonder if you even know your heart. I put my hand on my chest and feel my heart beat—but is that the same as my heart? I can touch my wrist or neck and feel the blood rushing to and from my heart—but that isn’t my heart. I can feel heaviness in my chest and sorrow when I learn sad news. But is that really my heart?
Living in a man’s world professionally has pushed me to pursue effectiveness and competency, but in the midst of those situations have I forgotten what it means to be feminine and speak from my woman’s heart? I have friends who live in a Victorian-oriented world of lacy, frilly, soft pastels and while I admire and enjoy that I come home to my more clean and simple decorating scheme. I watch friends who wear lace, ruffles and dresses that certain promote their feminine assets without being sexy or tart, but then dress in my conservative, “professional”, business-oriented suits.
Where do I find the balance? Where do I allow the soft part of myself to be revealed? Do I even know what being feminine means? Deborah (Judges 4) was a strong leader. In fact, she leads men into battle as a judge. Abigail (I Samuel 25) saved her husband and many others from destruction by operating from her woman’s nurturing, compassionate heart and yet, clearly she was a woman of strength to have lived with such a difficult man for years.
Please Lord God, show me I am captivating—not in the eyes of man, but in Your eyes. Draw me to your chest, Lord. Hold me close as Your little girl. Hold me so tight that I know it is safe to unlock my heart and let the world see the beauty You have poured inside. I ask, Lord, that You help me discover the joy of being fully woman—feminine for You. Amen
